I have to say.

That I really dislike being guilted into things.

I also am not really fond of not feeling like a family member, when a "friend" is treated like more of one.

Families can be hard.

But on a positive note, bub really loves the Jolly Jumper. It's her first day on it.

My daughter is the coolest kid around.

GREATEST $8 I HAVE EVER SPENT!!!

Teenagers...

This evening my teenage sister had a friend over. Ironically, her name is also my name. I found myself revolted the moment she walked in the door when she exclaimed quite loudly "Oh my god Clare, I totally just saw this guy who looked like Bailey but he was totally old, like 15 or 16 and I reckon he was checking me out because he wouldn't stop looking at me".

I managed to stifle my amusement.

They then went on to talk about Gossip Girl and how hot all the guys are... especially "Ed Westwick... OMG he is SO HOT!" until they did an image search of him on Google. They found a picture of him topless and both proceeded to pretend to upchuck.

"I totally thought he was so hot until I saw that picture!"

I sneaked a peek.This was the picture.

No wonder we wind up with body issues... if someone doesn't have muscles they are spew worthy?

I went on to mention that was an amazing body compared to the male bodies I've seen around here.

I really would like to know how I managed to live through puberty if I was anything like them.

I'm really hoping they create Teenabotomy before Saria gets to that age.

That is my little rant for the day, thank you and good night. 

It's only the start of the day.

And already I'm feeling as though today is going to be a rough and long day.

I'm tired and bub is restless.. although a nice dose of playschool is keeping her entertained.

I've got the man here but he has dislocated his shoulder.

And bub and I are off to Wodonga to visit Peter and his mother today.

I went a bit nuts last night and cleaned the house while bub was asleep. I always get to the point where there is just way too much mess. Such an entertaining process. It's great cleaning up after 5 people... sometimes six when Daniel stays.

It's strange, but at the moment the one thing I want to do is spend a week at home doing nothing. I have found that since bub has been born it's been non-stop. Cleaning, socialising, birthday, christmas, renovations, not to mention a new 24 hour 7 day full time job.

I wouldn't change my new job for anything, but the rest can shove off just for a few days. =P

Yum.

Do you think Manu would date a younger woman?? =D

I've lost my glasses

And I realised that I rely on them for more than just sight.

Strange thoughts and dreams

I had a strange dream last night. I've never really worked out if I believe in the theory that everything in your dream is a part of you or whether it is a part of what is going on around you. But this dream was particularly scary.

Three people that I don't recognise were in it. They treated my family with respect when we first met them but once we let them get close they destroyed us slowly.

Daniel became bitter and cruel and didn't believe me over them.

They tried to hurt my daughter.

And I was petrified to walk out my front door.

I woke up because I was so scared, so I don't know how it ended.  But it felt extremely real and I keep having to remind myself that my daughter is fine. Daniel is still loving. And I can leave the house.

Sometimes I really dislike dreams.

I know it definitely touched on a few of my fears, but the dream certainly didn't help me analyse those fears.

I'm currently.

Sitting in a room with two 13 year olds who are writing Fan Fiction. 

I'm slowly going... 

INSANE.

Do it.

I really do think that you should check out this webcomic.

www.leasticoulddo.com/comic

If I was friends with Rayne, I'm not sure if I would punch him or touch him inappropriately.

XD

'Daddy', I love you.

I spent the day with my dearest old friend Peter. He dated my mother when I was just two weeks old for a while and was like a father to me up until I was 10.

Us in 1991

Due to many reasons, we lost contact for many years. But back in 2009, I lost my biological father to suicide, which was heartbreaking as I had spent a few years planning to get back into contact with him to let him know just how much I loved him. And from that moment on, I knew that I had to find Peter before I lost him for good.

But due to the fact that I am so worried about rejection, it wasn't until my grandmother came down and wanted to catch up with him that we got in contact on new years eve... and it was the most rewarding thing that has ever happened. Because I have now got my 'father' back in my life and I have never been happier.

I love you Pete.
xx

At my 21st.

Into the 21st year of my life.

What a fantastic few weeks it has been. 

It's amazing how much things can change in a year. 

On my 20th birthday I was single, but still madly in love with my ex. 

Drinking often, doing drugs often, no thoughts of having a child. 

My 21st... and I am now a mother. I am back with my amazing man Daniel... 

I am responsible and drink rarely. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I would definitely say that this birthday has been awesome. 

I had a big 21st party on the 8th. It was in a hall and over 80 people showed, which was a great time. 

I got to mingle with friends I haven't seen in so long and let my hair down. 

Last weekend my lovely man took me away to Melbourne for the weekend with our friends Karen and Justin.

We had a FANTASTIC time. 

We found an AMAZING korean restaurant in Chinatown and stuffed our faces, then went to Centrefold Lounge... and I enjoyed the women very much... ;D

The next day we went shopping in the city, checking out Minotaur, enjoying Lord of the Fries and tramming it up.

My man. <3

Out of all of my birthdays, it was definitely the best. And it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for my gorgeous man Daniel. <3

Although I have to say that I was missing my girl so very much and having her back in my arms was the best. 

The reason why I am who I am today.

Saria Lucy. 

The most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. 

This beautiful soul has taught me the power of unconditional love, responsibility, maturity and happiness.

When I see her smile, I forget the worries. When I hear her goo and gah, my soul beams. When I look into her eyes, I see innocence and beauty and I feel proud that I have created something so wonderful.

It's amazing to have your heart outside your body. 

"I fell in love with you the moment I held you in my arms, 

the moment you cried, 

the moment you looked into my eyes.

I still love you to this day, and I know I always will."

Nothing can compare.

<3